YES, I AM AFRAID I am not Afraid. Not afraid Not afraid. Let Sun not Appear, Stars disappear Darkness doesn’t Matter. But I must Say I am still afraid of Darkness of the Mind, heart and Souls. Whereby one Stops thinking Like a caged Elephant Or Lion Who doesn’t know Or are taught to stay there. Darkness that Sees not Other human as One from his Own vast Universal family. Darkness that I Fear most is Violence in which the culprit Knows nothing Apart from Killings, bombs Latest arms and anger. I fear too. Yes, I am afraid.
There are times in my life when things and people act as an enemy.
I would have given up many times.
I won’t Suicide by Titus Vargis, PhD.
But then these same adverse things seem like nothing. How? Below are the reasons.
People irritate me. They frustrate my plans.
I can’t let myself see my plans fail.
But again and again, I somehow find something in my life that motivates me.
So what are they?
Why I won’t Suicide? By Titus Vargis.
01. My dreams won’t allow me to surrender to the circumstances.
02. My family and children won’t allow me to give up.
03. My Calling in Life won’t allow me to run away.
04. My inner voice tells me to persist.
05. My Vision tells me to keep patience.
06. My Money goals won’t allow me to give up. I have seen my parents face poverty and run for basic necessities in life. I have seen the utter helplessness of poverty. This motivates me to not let it happen to my future generations.
07. I have moral obligations. It won’t allow me to give up.
08. My own commitment to myself won’t allow me to run.
09. My parents have high expectations from me. This propels me to continue in spite of every odds against me.
Well, to summarize I would like to say Life is not easy but once you find some valid reasons like above you find it worthwhile to move on.
You must not give up.
I can tell you those who sow in tears reap a harvest full of joy indeed.
There is no deadly sickness on this planet like sickness of the Soul, Suicide.
The most dangerous sickness out of all By Dr Titus Vargis.
How my Suicidal tendencies went Away?
It’s not easy. It’s monumental. It’s not a sickness that you take a pill and it goes away.
Suicidal thoughts are born out of long term sufferings of stress & harsh realities of life.
Many times, people would suggest others that merely by forcing one’s thoughts one can get out of it.It is ridiculous!
No, it does not work that way. You are Outrightly wrong.It’s not a physical sickness just like cough and cold.
It’s a living hell. One can’t escape by himself.
Suicidal thoughts can happen over a time of total failure, death of a loved one, terrible loss in life or business,terminal sickness & sufferings.
The person already has done everything to come out of it but he’s helpless. That’s the reason he’s thinking of ending his life.
Suicidal thoughts were not in me until my father was alive. Once he had passed away unexpectedly, I went into a stage of utter despondency.
Earlier I had no clue I can even have such feelings of Suicide. But it did happen.
I was the eldest son and I had a younger brother. We were still studying in schools. My mother had no job. Financially we had no scope. Mentally we were left to our own by everyone around.
It was as if all hell broke loose. I developed abnormal fears, including fear of people,fear of open spaces. This created a total imbalance in our family.
As an eldest Son, I had the responsibility to look after my mother and brother. Here I was in utter darkness & I felt I was not living upto my family’s expectations.
To make it short, I developed serious depression & went to consult the doctor.The Doctor prescribed medicines for me.
It really helped me. Previously I could not sleep at night but now I can sleep well. My fears got subsided to an extent and I attempted to start living my life once again.
This whole thing happened to me as my father had passed away. I felt his absence too much.I felt that I was hopeless.
Financially I had nothing to support my family so that I can feel proud about myself.This feeling of worthlessness increased my depression.
I developed a whole range of depressive thinking, different fears, and anger too because now our family had no one to look after.
I attempted suicide many times. I did not see any point in living. I tried all ways. Medicines,Yoga, Positive talk, Exercises.Staying positive did not help. Nothing worked.Absolutely.
Medicines did not cure my suicidal tendencies. I was fed up with my life. I did not want to live as a burden to others. Deep down my heart I wanted to live and earn lots of money. It didn’t happen.
I can say no one could save me really. Even not myself!
My mother was a praying woman.She kept on praying for my recovery.She prayed to Jesus.She is a spiritual lady. Her prayers brought my answers. Jesus Christ rescued me.He intervened.My life changed.
My plans of suicide did not work. I must say I am alive because of Jesus Christ.
It was all because of my Heavenly Father. He just would not let me do suicide.This I know for sure.
I am now recovered completely. It’s been more than 10 years now. Since then I never even thought about suicide.
Now I have a beautiful wife and family. God has blessed me with 3 beautiful children.
My life is no longer the same. I now from my experience can say that no medicines can cure suicidal tendencies. No surface level efforts either.
I believe one must have a paradigm shift. One can’t just get over these dangerous tendencies just by thinking or behaving the right way.
Suicide is deeply related to our Soul. It’s a sickness of the Soul.
Unless and until this soul sickness is dealt with, one just can’t overcome it.
Suicide is an extreme condition.One has not taken this decision overnight.
One surely can overcome Suicidal tendencies with the help of God. Jesus Christ is the answer. God alone can heal this sickness of the Soul.
When the Soul is healed, a person begins to think about living boldly no matter what.
I believe this experience will help a lot of others who go through suicidal tendencies.
Thank you very much for reading.I am glad you read it.
Hey You! They and Everyone! You sure have Seen the colors Of skin Black, White, Whitish. You have names even for them.
Colors of the Soul by Titus Vargis.Colors of the Soul by Titus Vargis.
You have taught them to the innocent Kids and they Have learnt it well. Thank you. Hey, You Have you seen Soul’s color? Come and see Beneath the skin and the bones. You wouldn’t Believe me.
They have true Colors. Come and see Without your Glasses of Ancestors. Souls have colors too. Black, white Golden & Pink, blue Red, yellow Brown.
Moreover would you Start teaching Kids that Color skins Matter not But the Soul?
Souls in pains Broken, fallen Discouraged Given up Fed up Beaten up Wounded Disgraced Ridiculed Crucified. Souls weep Moan Wounded Broken taken for granted.
Let’s make a day fabulous by following these steps.
Let’s make a fabulous day to remember By Titus Vargis.
10 Extraordinary ways to make a new day phenomenal. Let’s make a day fabulous by following these steps:
#1.Get ready for the new day in advance. Whatever you need to do or go for, get ready in advance a day before. This makes it easy for you to act on it.
#2.Remember this: The First thing you do can alter the day. Begin the day with a positive attitude. It can make your day worthwhile.
#3.Make an extra effort to do the most important task at hand. Give it the first priority. Choose from your list what’s the most important thing to do for that day.
#4.Make a list of your 10 major achievements recently. It really motivates you to attempt great things more.
#5.Switch off your mobile phone. It’s very tempting to do but you need to ignore that so you can maintain your focus for the task ahead.
#6.Read some positive affirmations in the beginning of the day.
#7.Spend some time in Meditation or Quiet Time with God.
#8.Listen not to your own Critic. It’s easy to listen to our inner Critic and lose the day and the bright opportunities.
#9.Speak what you want to happen. Don’t say what you don’t want to see happen. Focus only on desired outcomes.
#10.Don’t try to fix many things at the same time.
Focus on just one thing at a time. You can’t do all things at once. Be patient.This is really important.
I really can not explain what the relationship I had with my daddy.
It was a relationship built in heaven.No one can come close to my dad.
I lost him suddenly and it left me a world full of unknowns.
O my how would I move an inch without my earthly God? This was my constant thoughts.
I was afraid.I was willing to suicide even tried to jump into the river.But I think God did not allow it to happen.I was though absolute confident about suicide.
I hated life as a whole.
I came to the TRUE colors of my own.
The plasticity of our society.The wicked heart hiding beneath the sober men and women.
I had to learn to live again.It was hell.It was absolute unnecessary I thought.
So,how anyways I stood on my ground again?
My mother stood By me.If there was one solid ground that held me it was my mother.She carried me and came to rescue me.I didn’t see her going away when I needed her the most.
My supreme help came from my heavenly Father.My God in whom I found refuge.To say the least,it was God who literally stood behind me.It was God who gave me boldness.When all else left me it was the presence of God that stood closer to me.This changed my life.
My hobbies such as listening music and reading kept me away from serious depression. It was music that changed my mood altogether. Then books.
I survived because of reading the biographies of great men.I purposely read great men and their life stories.I knew if they can succeed I too can.
My brother stood By me all through my dark times.He was there with me.He never left me.I didn’t feel I am lonely. I was supported By him.He financed me when I had no job.No money in my pocket.I truly thank God for him.
My mentors motivated me.I infact got my mentors through books.They were inspirational and a source of power to me.I felt I too can overcome any difficulties. This transformed my life.This gave me hope.This made me an overcomer.
I have survived all because of these.I could not live well when my dad passed away.
I felt it was impossible to live again.Yet I overcame those difficulties.
You too can overcome your mountains.
Keep trying. Never give up.Find some mentors.Find your own survival tactics.
We can repair ourselves and be a Winner. Life is a mystery. You can’t explain it.
Did you self care recently? If not why? By Titus Vargis.
I am always using my mobile.While recharging it this occurs to me that we are also somewhat like this machine.
Don’t we too get empty?
We too get depleted.
We too feel at the end of our ropes.
We feel like life is a bitch.
We feel all hormones are gone.
So,just as this machine needs recharging we too need recharging.
Ours is a difficult world.Here taking rest looks like useless.we are looked down while we do it.
We are told success comes to those who are HARD working.
Really?Alway?!
Nope,sorry to say that this a wrong assumption. Infact most erroneous one.
You see,we are made to work and rest and work and refresh and so on.
We are not oceans of superpowers.
We get fatigue,empty and frustrated.
We need some quality times of cave.
Privacy.A time to be alone.
So,here are the lessons I learnt recently on why We get frustrated and what can be done.
Lets find out.
Eventually we get Empty.We all.You know that.With all kinds of personal responsibility and struggle its not same each day.
Energy gets depleted based on how much one is involved in different roles such as an employer,husband, wife,family,community etc. We don’t have equal responsibility. We each have different roles to play.our energy level at a given moment depends so much on them.it’s easy to judge but hard to understand.
We need recharging again and again and again and again. ..one cant be superhuman. Certainly we are brighter some days but not always.Our power gets depleted. We are human.
Our recharging source differ drastically. What recharges you might stress me.And what recharges me might stress you.Is not it so? Well,some like movies or music or travelling and so on.Recharging depends upon our personality.
When time of recharging has come two things can happen either we ignore or do something about it.One is harmful and the other is useful.Recharging oneself is absolute important wether we like it or not.Let’s not act as if we are immune to tbe basic needs of life.it’s dangerous on the long run.For oneself and also for our near ones.Things get sour if needs are unmet.
Sometimes we dont know what makes us empty and lifeless. Lets find out what makes us alive again.Try different things and see which activities enlighten us.Then do more of that especially when you feel down.
Just as with machines we human need times of inactivity. Life needs breaks very often depending upon our life and age.Its during those times we get recharged for future needs.
Its easy to misunderstand someone based on their little things. Sometimes we need to understand that others might be going through a hell.It really saves our relationships.Also saves our emotion well being.
Grass on the other side looks greener.Our own garden looks dull when we are prone to compare. Avoid the comparison.
Finally,would like to encourage you to take card of yourself. Not because its fun but because its necessary for our wellbeing just like food.
Without taking much time to feel guilty, just take a break.You are human.With lots of best wishes,
There cant be another easiest way to win back the heart.Healing can happen!
The Easiest Way By Titus Vargis.
Do you know that you can destroy as well as revive a relationship?
Two words that can revive almost any broken relationship
We can take a relationship and do two things out of it: make it or break it.
May be we think that its the other person who decides the future but the reality is different!
Hey we both can make or break the relationship we have.
Yes,me and you.
Lets not assume that only other person decides the future of relationship.
One of the easiest way to break a relationship is to be passive. To keep on expecting the miracle. That somehow something will strengthen the relationship.
No,miracles dont save any relationship. Its our commitment and efforts that strengthens the relationship.
These two words can literally revive the relationship. Its not so much the words,but the attitude thats much important.
Two words that can revive the relationship are THANK YOU.
These words show the other person that you are greatful for the love and commitment of that person.
These can create a ripple effects on the long term journey of our relationship.
You see,any relationship that is meant to last for ten or thirty or fifty more years cant survive merely on superficial techniques.
Moreover here we are not dealing with the machine but a whole person.
The whole person is involved. That means,our total being.Nothing less.
You cant act as if you have plan A,B or C. There is only plan A and that is the only way. This comes up in our behaviour and little things.
THANK YOU for numerous things,such as listening, caring,providing, sustaining,nurturing and meeting my needs.
It takes so much to carry on a relationship. Its not one persons job but two.
When both the partners honors the efforts of the other,relationship thrives! It blossoms. It revives.
Why not let’s be thankful for the little or bigger things done on our behalf when there are millions who just dont care about us.
In Fact,we must be thankfully take the other person as if they are a gift from Heaven.
I believe, we can do anything with our lives.We can and we must be committed to those who are already committed towards us.
An Open Letter to the One who is Lonely and hurting.
Hey! My friend By Titus Vargis.
Hey! Friend,
How are you doing? Why are you looking down on yourself? Who told you that you are a failure?
My friend, I have few nuggets of wisdom life has taught me all these years, especially after my dad passed away. I too was broken. I too was hopeless. I was contemplating suicide and even attempted thrice but somehow God saved me.
I thought I was useless. No one cares and life is a bitch. I was lonely too.
Would you please go through all these and think about each of them?
Trust me, it’s not useless but extremely useful and worth the gold. Lets start!
My friend,Look back how far you have come. Why don’t you do that? You are thinking too much about goals and other things.
Don’t run but be patient. Life is a marathon. It’s a long run. You have to be patient my dear.
Believe the fact my dear that you have come a long way.
Who told you that it’s imperative to compete with others? Would you just shake up and arise? One more time. Don’t say I can’t. You have to. You can and you must. Do it, my friend!
Look within my friend! Don’t overlook the inside job. Take heart. Work on the inside.
Be Thankful for the Life and precious family you have got. Did you take time recently to ponder? How much would it cost, my friend? No money can buy that. Thank God for that. Now.
Other’s opinions are a garbage. Just ignore them. You are not accountable to anyone. Your life is yours. It’s none of other’s business. Don’t give them any importance.
Make a list of your achievements till now. Write about it. Take time. My friend, who will congratulate you if you condemn yourself? You will be amazed to know that how much you have accomplished this far.
Know your strengths. Take a sheet of paper and make a list. You must appreciate your own strengths. Otherwise no one will.
Be thankful always. Make a commitment. Right now. Here. Look to the brighter side of life. There will be always things that are broken and hopeless. There will always be things to be grateful for. Do it.
My dear! You are a Champion really. Trust me. You are a winner. Why lose your heart?
Crying won’t solve anything. It takes courage to let go of past.
Look within. Find strength in knowing that Life is really good. Trust me, it can alter our life. The thing is that it must be a daily practice. Be consistent. Be ruthless about it.
Giving up is easy but I don’t give up. This is the summary of my struggle.
Infact, if you ask me whats the most frequent struggle I face? The answer would be this: to give up and give up.
Not only me, it is the most fundamental question of our lives here on Earth.
To give up! How often we as human being think about it at each moment.
It’s not that giving up is our nature. It’s not that we are habitual of giving up. No. No. We give up because of our finite existence and infinite struggle.
We face thousand battles at the same time. We fight for our existence. We fight as a husband or wife. We fight as a parent or child. We fight as a victim at the hands of cruel men around. And so on.
Giving up is the easiest solution we find at times. Why should we carry on when there is no use of fighting? Why should we care when love is not understood?
Giving up is a daily battle. Even every minute battle.
Here, the reasons for my not giving up are:
1.I don’t give up because I see my dreams. I want my dreams to come true. If I give up I would be a loser.
2.I don’t give up because I have learned that if I stay on I might reward myself. I might see the best outcome.
3.I don’t give up for the sake of humanity. I stay so that fate can be defeated. I don’t want to see my fate ruin my day Or life.
4.I don’t give for the sake of my spouse.
5.I don’t give up for my parents have high hopes about me. They have invested their blood and money on me.
6.I don’t give up so that I can testify that as a human I have fought and won the fight.
7.I don’t want to be a Loser. I want to be a Winner.
8.I have seen the absolute poverty and now I want to fight one more time.
9.I don’t like to be a Victim. I want to be a Victor.
10.I want to see my family smile. They have high expectations from me. How can I ruin their hopes?
These are the reasons, I don’t give up. But saying that doesn’t mean I am a Rock. I do feel about it very often.
Let the story of your life be filled with episodes of not giving up.
Of course there will be times, we do give up. But still we can rise and fight. We can. We must fight.
This is the greatest achievement of our life on Earth.
Life is what you make out of it. Relationship is not for immature.
The recipe for success by Titus Vargis.
Sometimes, men don’t express what they want in a relationship. This creates lot of misunderstanding. Moreover women feel what is wrong.
It’s man’s responsibility to express about their needs. Moreover it’s good that women too know the basic needs of men so that they can face them appropriately.
Let’s find out what are they?
1.It hurts to speak exactly what youarethinking. You must not say whatever you think. Speaking your mind can seriously hurt another.
2.Love is remaining silent too. Many times being vocal is hurting. There is a time to speak and not speak at all. One must respect the silent times. Men need it. It’s easy to misunderstand the silence of men. Men need silence in order to recoil themselves.
3.Speaking truth with love means speaking with utmost care and respect lest you kill the other person. It’s important to take time and think about what words to say. Choose words very carefully. Words literally can kill. Even makes life.
4.Love is respecting the other.it’s more about accommodating different viewpoints.When we say we love then it also requires us to respect the other person’s viewpoint. No matter what other person must be considered.
5.Complaining is like spoiling a brand new day. One must be careful, especially women. You can complain but the words you say should not mean that the man is of no use and does nothing well. It destroys the soul literally.
6.It means so much when you praise a man for even little things he does well. Women need to understand that praising inspires a man to do more. When you acknowledge a man for his good works he feels proud about it.
7.Being always critical is so discouraging to men. As men we need to focus on our work and we are always willing to do it for women. Unless a woman is not critical, men want to do many things for her. But being critical always spoils his motivation.
8.It feels good to express the good qualities of your man. When a woman expresses the good qualities of her man he feels great. It doesn’t require so much hard work. Women need to praise and speak out about the good qualities of her man. This makes the man happy. Speak little qualities that you like in him.
9.Never compare your man with the other. He may have hundreds of weaknesses and few strengths but still it does no good to do that. It’s not motivation but devaluation. Try to understand. Women need to deliberately learn the little things men dislike. It’s easy. Ask about such and you will find the answer.
A relationship is not made or broken up in a day. Little by little it happens.
When men feel that they are given due respect and love, they tend to give more to the nourishment of the relationship.
“Love is the thing that wrecks you” someone said. In fact during my teen years I thought about Love as heavenly. I thought once we get our Love everything will be new and pure bliss. No one corrected me and now I wish that I should have been taught the true nature of the so called Love. Love is the answer, they say. Love can alter your life in every ways. It’s easy, they say. What I have now learnt about Love after 16 years of marriage, it’s totally different. I must say that Love is a bliss but it’s not easy, it’s hard.
Lessons on Love By Titus Vargis.
Why not lets go straight into some of the lessons on Love:
1.Love is assimilation, to say figuratively. Just like salt gets assimilated in the water, same happens in true Love. One cannot stay away from assimilation if he or she truly wants to be in a relationship.
2.Love is not a bed of Roses, just like our movies depict very often. It’s a surgery indeed. Love is an act & not theory. Love is like swimming, you must be willing to lay aside your individuality. There is no other way. You must get inside the waters and be willing to get wet.
3.Love is not black or white. What you want is what you see. It depends on your eyes. The glasses you wear from your childhood and teens. Life is all about perspective. What glasses you put on, the same will things appear to you.
4.Love is much more than Romance. It’s responsibility. It’s credibility. It’s being true to your partner. No matter what. Romance is just a part and you need to act now.
5.Love is getting our hands dirty. We might not like everything, but still we don’t hold back. For the sake of the relationship. We like it or not, we act anyways.
6.Love is like a seed going inside the grave. Just like a seed, it must allow to be give up the rights and freedom of staying just the way you are.
7.Love is not a song but a Warfare. It’s all about fighting for the safety of your relationship. It’s literally a warfare. Each day you act and save your relationship. You even fight with yourselves. It’s very painful but the results are extraordinary.
8.Love is giving away our rights and our preferences about the world. Giving away all our prejudices.
9.Love is a hundred percent commitment. It’s not a part-time affair. No way. It’s wants your absolute commitment. It requires you to lay down your half Heartedness.
10.Love is not for kids but for the mature adult. It’s not crying for the small stuffs. It’s not spoon feeding. Love involves two mature adults who know what’s at stake.
11.Love is like planting seeds and waiting for the seeds to germinate. It involves lot of waiting. It’s fruits don’t happen overnight. You cannot expect miracles overnight.
12.Love is much more than physical. It’s not about our desires to be met. It’s about much deeper to the level of soul. Love is genuine only if it’s soul deep. Love is precious and it requires each one to deeply connected to the core. It doesn’t only look infirmities and mistakes. It embraces the whole being with goodness and weakness.
I firmly believe that these facts about Love will add sparks to your relationship. Kindly give me a few lines of feedback. I will be waiting. Stay blessed. Thank you for taking time!
The devastation and the utter indifference of our civilization
Time to stop the Singing by Titus Vargis
Sing your song What if Russia Wipe our Ukraine While we sing Our favorite list.
Sing your song Save those kids Apart from yours They might kill for a piece of bread!
Sing your song shoe is yours legs are mine It’s hurting. Sing your song While we watch our daily soap and favorite football team, Russia might destroy whole bunch of innocent cities!
Stop your songs look the devastation Arise for the kids apart from your’s Lest they take the guns and get license to Kill.
Let’s uncomplicate for our children by Titus Vargis.
How often have we heard this, Hard work is equal to good luck? Or speaking Truth is more important than lie. The explanation is that truth brings rewards and lie brings punishment.
Respect yourself only then people will also respect you.
Speak less and speak well.
Don’t judge others.
Mind your own business.
Whatever work you do, do it right the first time.
Live up to your words.
Be a good citizen, whether anyone sees it or not.
Wear clean clothes.
Have faith in god.
Don’t be lazy. Lazy people are failures.
Don’t work for money.
Do it and don’t expect rewards.
Give to others and don’t expect them to pay you back. It’s a virtue.
Get married and settled, don’t stay single.
Life is not fair. In fact life is a big riddle. You cannot simplify a complicated concept. Life is not to be simplified.
But how often, as a school children we are being taught otherwise.
We teach the importance of Truth, Honesty, Fairness. The moral of the lessons are indeed great. There is nothing wrong in them. But the question is why do we teach that A is always equal to B, but in reality it’s not always, but sometimes!
When we say A is always equal to B then it ought to be always under every circumstances be so.
Why do we teach hard work always pays? When in reality it’s only sometimes. Does hard work guarantee success? No. Success is not only based on hard work, but many other factors.
The problem with this is that when a child works hard and gets disappointed, he assumes that on the basis of above formula he is a Failure!
Because the formula is right then he must be a Failure. How will such child be motivated again to reattempt another exam?
Will he work hard while earlier he did it but was not successful. It’s easy to simplify a concept but to put a formula out of no evidence is painful and heartbreaking.
What about marriage? Society puts so much pressure on getting married and when a person is single he is asked why he is not getting married? The formula here is getting married is equal to happiness.
But the question is do we see it everywhere? No! Getting married is not equal to happiness but more responsibility. More stress. More financial crisis as now he must pay the bills more than he was when single.
Why then it’s suggested that getting married is an important factor while remaining single is a failure? I sometimes wonder why there are hundreds of such formulas being suggested.
Why can’t we be more responsible? What’s the need to simplify a complicated concept? Why can’t we be just honest? Can’t we suggest that A is more desirable than saying A is equal to B.
This way we will be saving a thousand lives. How? When we don’t say A is equal to B then no one will be blamed when he or she will not achieve something. Rather he or she will get free from the burden.
When we are honest to admit and teach that life is not A is equal to B but A is much desirable, and B is not guaranteed. B can be achievable if you persist. We can be honest in our approach.
Why put so much falsehood into young minds? Why to suggest something that’s not true? Why should we suggest that hard work always gets paid. Why should we suggest that life is predictable When we know it’s not?
Life is hard indeed and for many it’s harder because of our suggestions, our formulas. The so called coaching industry is filled with such formulas. The result is those who can’t make it consider themselves a Failure.
What are the steps needed to be taken before one enters into a marriage?
Before taking that leap by Titus Vargis, India.
Marriage is a one time event. Usually we attract the opposite, and look for beauty and smartness.
But as we move on later, we realize that there were many other qualities which we didn’t notice in our partners.
I think it would be safer for a person to calculate every thing before entering into marriage.
Otherwise things surely will get sour later on. You see, we look the exterior and find that the other person is the best for us.
But reality is different, it’s not a one day companionship. That’s the bitter truth. With rising divorce rates in our society, we can sense the need to safeguard our marriages.
Do you know yourself? let me ask this question. What would be your answer. You might say yes to that. But in reality we even don’t know ourselves fully. We are knowing day by day some of our hidden aspects or behaviors.
If that’s the case, then can we say we know our partner fully? No! But what if we tried a little harder to get to know the other one better? We can do this and that too before entering into a lifelong relationship.
I believe a lot of heartaches arise due to bypassing this crucial component of any relationship. We assume and then we find we were wrong. Then our heart breaks and no one helps us.
I would like to share few suggestions on how to be careful while searching for a life partner. It’s not a comprehensive kind of guide but still it has so much value in it. Let’s start:
1.Divorce is a hell. Don’t Assume things will get better by chance. Having a good preparation is better than a divorce.
2.Get to know yourself first. Find out are you an introvert or an extrovert. First you get to know what kind of a person you are, so that you can find a matching partner.
3.Don’t rush and take decision. Wait and take time. It will surely help you a lot. Never go by your instincts. They can go wrong.
4.Once you have found who you are then find out who the other person is. Ask a lot of questions. Tell the other person that you need to know them before you can say yes.
5.Find out their likes and dislikes. What they prefer and how they view life as a whole. In order to have a successful relationship, both the partners must have many common qualities and basic understanding of living together. One must be able to adjust themselves in a relationship.
6.Ask questions on important issues such as finances, weaknesses and strengths.
7.Also ask about who will look after kitchen and making food. Ask the other about whether they love to make food and work in the kitchen?
8.Ask whether they can afford to live together in difficult financial circumstances. Will they accept such situations? This is very crucial as life is not predictable. One needs to be ready if such adverse situations arise.
9.Ask about what their expectations are from you and marriage. Ask what they want to see in you and marriage. Share your perspective too. Find out if both of you share same views. Then decide if you can carry on this relationship or not. Because knowing our similarities and differences is very important in a lifelong relationship.
10.After you find out all information, take time to find if this relationship will work or not. Ask the other person to share their opinions and express what they think of this relationship. If both of you are comfortable enough you can carry on the relationship. Best of luck!
What will you find at the end of the Road called Life?
Not necessarily timeless by Titus Vargis.
What will you get? At the end of the Road When you have played all tricks and gained scores of well wishers! What will you get?
black or white Or gray there are still Roads not traveled Whose name will matter at the end of the race called Life?
What do you want to see and get? What are the gains of Your name on the Front page of NewYork Times or some all time Great men and Women?
Will you make it in the heart of some unknown soul whose belly you filled with bread and butter? What will you get After all twists and turns, all the sum of endeavors Clever wicked ways?
Never underestimate the power of a pet especially a dog. Life can teach you a lot about relationship…
Dog as a Life Coach by Dr. Titus Vargis
My dog is my best friend. Well, you can understand it only if you have had a dog. Dogs are much more faithful than human.
For centuries mankind has been keeping dogs as their favorite pet. Dogs are known to be faithful. They can be depended.
Dogs make us feel special. It can never hide his true feelings. Especially when you come after a while, they show immense feelings of warmth. They wag their tail and jump upon as if like a child. They get happy and they show it.
As a human being we sometimes are very slow to express our true emotions. People find it hard to know what other’s feelings are towards them. Why can’t we just express it? I don’t really understand it. There are times, we need to show our feelings towards our close ones. It makes a relationship stronger.
A Dog as a coach by Titus vargis.
As in various relationship, we need to make others feel important. This is the most important aspect of any relationship. Well this is the thing you can learn from a dog. It will teach you,and transform you,making you more healthy.
Others as well as you need to feel special at times. It needs to be developed. Like any other new habit, one can develop this. Steadily one can develop this art. Don’t say I can’t. You can just as with any other talent like art or music.
Learn to express empathy. It’s Important. It’s very much needed. It makes us special. What you need is exactly what others in your relationship need. Can we decide to learn this art that can strengthen our relationship?
We all need feelings of special or importance. When we show our emotions others feel valued. They think this relationship is worth their efforts. Life is really really hard for all of us. Why can’t we be a source of unlimited favor and grace?
In turn what we give we receive it hundred folds. Do you agree? Let me know. Share your thoughts. I shall be happy to know your thoughts on it.
“Love can sometimes lead you to the thing that wrecks you” (Bryan Adams)
Love is not enough by Titus Vargis.
Love is easy and its not hard. Staying in love and committing to it is really really hard. You know,love is just the beginning but relationship is a long long journey. Romance is good.Commitment is hard.
How often,we think that love is beginning and the end.But what about commitment? Are we willing to go beyond our comfort zones? Are we willing to assimilate? Or are we looking for a easy way? Marriage is not a short journey but a long marathon.It requires two mature adults who are willing to pay the cost.Sometimes we think love is enough and nothing else. Love is a road less travelled.The reason many relationships are broken because they dont want to put commitment into it.Commitment requires sacrifice and lots of efforts. One can’t give up so easily.you know,when two mature persons decide to live together, things are not always easy and smooth. How often,we are faced with our insecurities and weaknesses.We might get annoyed and want to give up. The hard truth is marriage is not for immature people.Commitment is only possible when both of them really really want to change themselves and not others.titusvargis.substack.com
I believe that life is not easy but it can be,when one finds the right mindset. I am here to share precious insights on Relationship transformation,advice, creativity,my learnings on life experiences.
I want to make a community of Life transformers.A community of winners and people who are willing to face life’s challenges.
You can find 5 posts in a week. Paid subscription will get you detailed information regarding Relationship breakthrough, creativity,Life coaching and poetry.
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What are the rules to overcome in life?What God says about overcoming?
How can we overcoming inspite of chaos,dire straits and frustrations?
We are our choices we make each moment. This is I learnt after years of being in depression and suicidal thoughts.
I wished someone told me 14 years ago. Life is the best teacher.
God teaches you through life experiences.
Overcoming is a choice!!
Yes,you heard it right. You see,we think that education or a good spouse would automatically transform our lives. No! Life is determined by the choices we make.
Overcoming is a persistent choice. If we want to see drastic changes in our lives then we must be ruthless. We must decide once for all that we won’t settle for anything less than overcoming life.
Let’s look at some of the rules to follow that can transform our lives:
Speak faith and faith alone.
Choose words that are part of the solutions.
Defeat unconscious negative thoughts on purpose.
Write down what are the negative confessions that is putting you down.
Don’t assume that it’s others who can make you happy.
Expect nothing from anyone including your parents,spouse or children.They have not power to do that.
Look inside and there lies the problem.Looking outside will get you nowhere.
Work on your confessions. Incorporate life giving confessions.
Life is precious. Take a responsibility and it will give you immense significance. Do this and persistently. Don’t run away from your responsibilities but rather embrace them. It will give your life a meaning.
Treat yourself as a child. Don’t be ruthless on yourself. Accept the weaknesses and look for strengths.You are not a failure but you are an overcomer. Let me know what you liked and learnt from this post. Lots of best wishes for success in life. titusvargis.substack.com
I think the most most commonly used word in the world would be LOVE. I strongly believe another set of words that are mostly used would be I, We, Us and Me. What is the conclusion I make from these? Word ‘Love‘ is commonly used when we are not literally meaning it. We use it to mean that we like something, or someone based on our likes and biases. Not necessarily that others are in our hearts or we are deeply moved by the other. You see, we are the most selfish generation of the history of mankind. Look at the news or any groups or any so called unselfish people groups who are selflessly doing to mankind much favors. First of all, why is that these groups or people promote themselves when they are utterly selfless?! It’s a joke! Who in the world is selfless and selfish at the same time?! It’s absurd! Well, we live in a time such as this. For us LOVE is equal to SELF. Our motives are clear. We will use any opportunity to gain other’s attention and gains. We can even use the words such as LOVE or SELFLESS acts of kindness. While the reality is totally different. We fool others and we are deeply perfect in this. Our schools or colleges teach us and train us to be utterly selfish and put others down at any cost in the name of the so called SUCCESS. What is the conclusion regarding the love we see around. LOVE of ours is superficial and plastic. It fools others. It is used to gain something. It is utterly selfish and lacks genuineness. Why is it that we kill each other in the name of religion? Why the educated masses are easily swayed away by fanaticism?! Why we say we are civilized and at the same time we are totally corrupt and not willing to sacrifice for the sake of others? Love is kind, selfless, sacrifice, forgiving, bearing one another in weaknesses ,and laying down our own Demonic pride. 1.True love is coming out of our self. It’s all about others and not us. 2.It’s more about not my bread or my money but about other’s hunger and sufferings. 3.It’s about giving,giving and utterly giving. 4.It’s about making a mark in the lives of those who cannot repay us back by any means. 5.It’s about our forgiving when grace is not possible. 6.It’s about showing mercy to the offender the tenth or eleventh time. 7.It’s about not scoring but about getting unnoticed. 8.It’s not about marketing or getting famous but making the lives of the other much more better than before.
Constant efforts are not always useful only when the time comes, they can be used even when it can be said that the intellect needs to be used more than the mind.
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I’ve had this topic rattling around in my brain for a while. It’s been an occasional hum in the back of my mind, and I’m glad to finally shake it out and give it the attention it deserves. Let’s talk about visible disabilities and invisible struggles. It’s like comparing apples to oranges, and who doesn’t […]
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Anxiety and panic attacks in public are the worst aren’t they? You feel embarrassed and that everyone is staring at you, as if it’s not the most common thing in the world… But, how do I overcome that? When I took part in hypnotherapy for my anxiety I learned a technique called tapping and it’s […]
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“A price has to be paid for success. Almost invariably those who have reached the summits worked harder and longer, studied and planned more assiduously, practiced more self-denial, overcame more difficulties than those of us who have not risen so far.” –B. C. Forbes How do you like to go from where you are now […]
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The entire day, I had been working on my blog and I just could not think of what to post today. My mind was just blanking for some reason. And then I took some time to shut off my brain by meditating and doing breathing exercises. Whenever, I experience writers block I try to meditate […]
Life is an Adventure 